17. Where is Mother?

By ‘Mother' we mean the Mother of Sri Aurobindo Ashram who lived here in her physical body for over 60 years. Sri Aurobindo said Mother was an avatar and an incarnation of the Divine Transcendent Shakti. In Her individual aspect she lived here and worked with Sri Aurobindo. During her stay She revealed her universal aspect several times. To us, her devoted children dedicated to Her mission, She is the Supreme Divine Mother physically leading us to the realisation of the Supermind. She is individual, universal and transcendent. Her being here on earth, Sri Aurobindo said, is an act of constant Grace. When all is said and done, we mortals have a way of feeling that she WAS here and now Mother is not here, referring to her physical existence. It is true that the physical presence of Mother is constant Grace, an incomparable opportunity to relate to Her as her own children. It is an Hour of God and not luck that earth was often favoured with. Perhaps this was the most auspicious hour in earth's life. Mother even added a new dimension to Her existence on earth. The Divine Mother, of whom she was a physical incarnation, herself came down on earth to hasten the advent of the Supramental Being, because our Mother was here.

Well, it is a physical fact that Mother lived amongst us and now she is no longer with us in the physical body. How do we know when she acts, where she is, which acts express her grace?  There are several ways that were true even when Mother was here and continue to be equally true now, perhaps more true. One thing is certain. Mother's presence is now more powerfully felt everywhere than when she was here prior to 1973. She responds to calls more quickly and her answers bring a fuller result.

When a devotee meets Mother, she initiates him into spirit by looking into his eyes, reaching his soul through the eyes, fixing a spark of herself in his soul, which grows there into an emanation of her, presiding over his life. Apart from that permanent lodged inhabitant, there are the other moments when she comes into your mind, heart, nerves or life. They have a special sweetness, each special to its own plane, and have a marked way of expressing.

We can know Mother is there when CALM invades our heart suddenly. When Mother chooses our heart as a temporary abode, we feel it as CALM. If she chooses to linger there for more than a minute, causeless joy issues out of our heart. Joy is always Mother's gift and causeless joy is a stamp of Her presence. If you ever find your mind expanding--actually it is felt as if the skull is expanding--you can spot out Mother in your mind. If thought ceases in your mind of currents and cross currents, it indicates Mother's visit to your mental region. When the sensation of excitement changes into pleasing expansiveness, when others speak your thoughts, when life moves towards you bringing you the man you want to meet, the things you want to acquire, when new rules are made to meet your new needs, when MORE is given to you than what you asked for, when an argument against you turns in your favour, when help arrives exactly on the minute, MOTHER IS there.

A man with a deep-seated inferiority complex developed a high strung tension and learnt to live with it, living a miserable inner life. He came to Mother's Darshan and on the same day the entire terror dissolved forever. Another well-placed business executive of very fortunate circumstances in life developed a fond sentiment for the Vedas and learnt important portions, neglecting traditional injunctions. His unorthodox interest in the orthodox ways of Vedic lore had the very opposite result than he aimed at. His mind was torn by an unbearable tension to the point of having sleepless nights and nightmares for 15 years. He came to have Mother's Darshan. When he entered Her room, even before coming in front of Her, Her gaze fell on him and wiped out the demon that had possessed his mind.

A professor of high academic education and attainment came to Mother's balcony Darshan and found his mind falling silent and his thoughts ceasing, an experience he never had in life. A timid lady who used to fear everything and everyone came to the Ashram to renew contact with her sister lost several years before and was frightened beyond measure as to what would happen at the meeting. To her surprise, meeting her sister in the Ashram premises gave her a joy not known to her before.

Clever talebearers in a school carried false stories to the indecisive headmaster against a new teacher. He called a teacher's meeting to discuss and decide on the 29 complaints. Being unprecedented in the 100 year tradition, every other teacher was panicky about the issue, since a weak boss was being handled by clever intriguers. In a potential atmosphere for any untoward turn, the meeting began on an uncertain note and led nowhere. The new entrant was a devotee of Mother and decided not to defend himself. He awaited the result. The foolish remarks of the talebearers provoked the headmaster who furiously turned against them for leading him into a situation he could not manage. He abused them publicly and dispersed the members. When the devotee does not defend himself, Mother defends him more fully than he can.